December 2008

Dear Home Depot,

As it is the time of year we send cards to those we hold dear, I thought it only fitting that I add you to our list. I have, after all, seen you more than most of my family and given you more money than most of my creditors!
As you know, we have been working on remodeling our bathroom. The project seems to have dragged on for quite a bit longer than anticipated. While this has been a boon to the home remodeling industry at a time when the economy is struggling, we are quite ready to say we have done our part to ensure the economic future of America and complete the project.
I would be remiss if I failed to mention the other ways in which this remodel has strengthened the American resolve. The relationship with our friends and neighbors has been elevated to a new level. We have expanded our vocabulary to include the phrase "may we use your bathroom?" and "Do you know anything about wiring?"
Additionally, we have financially supported other industries, including the hotel industry and the psychological counseling industry as well as many fast food establishments. We considered expanding that to include the Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms industries, but thought otherwise when we decided we had no interest in supporting our local law enforcement establishment.
Alas, our projects' end is in sight. There are still skills to be employed and developed and, I'm sure, unorthodox methodologies to be explored. It has been quite a journey. Please feel free to continue to address us on a first name basis whenever we come through the door. We will surely miss our daily visits, but know that we hold you in a special place in our hearts and wallets.
Merry Christmas to each one of you.

Karen
Visa: xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-1906